Sunday, May 13, 2012
Return
Akira waited patiently. It seemed like hours before The woman who had helped with the delivery left. Taking a deep breath he moved through the shadows, stopping right before Lottie. He couldn't bring himself to reveal his return though. So he merely stood there. He could leave right now. . . he should have but he found himself moving without a second thought and kneeling beside Charlotte.
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He looked upon her for a lifetime, taking in the features of her beautiful face. To think such a wonderful person had the capacity to love him...
ReplyDeleteLottie shifted as she began to awake. Akira flinched, remembering what she had done to him during the delivery. But she was fine now... right?
Charlotte's gaze found Akira's through the hazy film of her waking vision. "Akira!" she breathed, her face lightening at his presence. It seemed to encourage him and he smiled in response.
His heart beat fast as he looked at her. She wouldn't hurt him again.
ReplyDelete"How. . .how are you feeling?" He felt so empty without her now. He didn't know why or how, but it frightened him a bit. He was used to having people control him. . . Would Charlotte be the same?
"Much better," she replied. "... And you?" She eyed the scars she inflicted upon his hand, feeling extremely guilty. She flinched as memories of the delivery came rushing back, most if not all horrible at best. What disturbed her most were the voices... where had they gone?
ReplyDeleteAkira flexed his hand, closing it into a fist. Lottie blinked, having realized she was gazing at it this entire time. She averted her eyes elsewhere, hoping to hide the shame she felt inside.
"I'm sorry... about your hand... I... was not myself... Please, forgive me."
He shrugged, " I am used to it." He didn't realize it until Lottie winced at his words that he'd hurt her. He rushed in, "But, its not bad. It doesn't hurt." He felt like an idiot. He sighed.
ReplyDeleteHe stood, not being able to be next to her anymore. He moved to his. . .kids. He still could not believe that he was a father. It all seemed to go by so fast.
"Akira." He turned his gaze back to Charlotte. She was now moving toward him. He stood there, fighting his instincts to run. He didn't know why he felt like it. It usually only happened when something bad was about to happen.
Something changed; at first she thought it was the resurrection of the voices. But it was foreign, out of order, and Lottie was not even given time to acknowledge it or warn Akira with a noise, a look, nothing. It was as though she was trapped in her own body, a spectator to the events that would unfold. What was happening?
ReplyDeleteTo answer her question, an unknown force willed her to speak words without her control. "You are foolish, my son." Lottie gasped within the prison of her mind, having heard her voice being filtered by another... one she knew all too well. Run! she screamed. Akira, run! None of this passed her lips. No!
Akira looked puzzlingly at Lottie. . . no. . . not Lottie. Before Akira could react she struck. Akira cried out in pain as he fell to his knees, blood seeping from the newly formed wound to his stomach. The creature that was Lottie grabbed a fistful of Akira's hair slamming it against the crib beside him. He hissed jumping to his feet he dodged the next attack. He crouched low to the ground. He couldn't strike her. . . it was still Lottie... right?
ReplyDelete" You are stupid and idiotic boy, You think it easy to rid yourself of me?!" It was her sweet melodic voice but it wasn't her. Akira dodged the next array of attacks but he was greatly distracted.
He fell against the bed, blood seeping from multiple wounds. His breathing ragged and uneven. What is going on with you Lottie?
No, No!! she screamed. Stop it! Don't! The force controlling her snapped it's voice at her: 'Hold your tongue, wench! You give me a headache.' The comment sparked an idea and she made every effort to make as much noise as possible. The creature poised to strike Akira once again, stopping slightly as the strain of her voice pained him.
ReplyDelete"God, shut up!!" screamed the demented Lottie aloud as she clutched her head in agony. Now was her chance. Fighting through the struggle of regaining self control, Lottie's eyes found Akira's as he stared at her confused and hurt.
"R-run, Akira," she whispered, gasping as she attempted to keep the force at bay. "It's... it's Ah-" And she was pulled away back into her prison, left breathless and weakened as she lost her control to the voice once more.
Utter confusion filled Akira's eyes. He had no idea what was happening.
ReplyDelete"What's wrong little Akira? Can't handle it? You wanted to be with me, now here i am." it grabbed him by his throat, lifting him up. he gasped as the hold strengthened. "Come on Akira, love me."
It threw him across the room, he slammed into the wardrobe. Blood seeped from his deep gashes and he gasped desperately for air.
This isn't Lottie! His mind screamed.
Oh? Why? Because she would never hurt you? Akira you are one giant punching bag. The voice within him taunted. He winced as he thought of the possibility.
He jumped to his feet, his vision became blurred by a slow trickle of blood from a wound on his head. He shook his head trying to focus on the creature.
It's not her! With a snarl he blocked the next attack and poised to strike back, but he looked into her eyes. They were those of his beloved Charlotte, The one who cared for him,so he faltered, allowing the being to strike him once more. Akira fell to his knees. He heard the faint cries of the babes.
No.. no! He lunged for the creature tackling her down. He pinned her hands over her heard and summoned his power once more.
His ocean blue eyes dissolved to a deep purple and his voice was laced over with one that seemed phantom.
"You will cease, now. You will leave Charlotte, now!" Charlotte squirmed underneath him, gasping, growling. Anything to throw him off. "Now!" He commanded, using it to the fullest of its potential all the while in the back of his mind he thought, please. . . please let this be someone else and not Charlotte.
And it was as though a wave of release came over her as she found herself in control once more. She coughed, the strain of the other force using her voice setting in. She closed her eyes, breaking eye contact with Akira and he gasped in pain. She opened her eyes, seeing him stumble to the side.
ReplyDelete"Akira," she breathed. She dared not approach him, uncertain of when the voice might take her once more. He gazed back at her, slightly relieved.
"Oh, damn," boomed a voice and at once Lottie and Akira's blood both froze. Her eyes met the silhouette of a man standing against the light pouring through her doorway and he walked slowly toward them both. "Have you forgotten your training, boy? It would've been so... fulfilling to see as you put an end to her."
Akira gasped as the pain of using the power overwhelmed him. His father walked over to Charlotte, kneeling next to her as he ran a hand across her cheek. Akira and Charlotte growled in unison.
ReplyDelete"Clearly you have been training with that power haven't you? But you were stupid. You used too much of it and now there you are, weak in the face of the enemy. Truly disappointing. No matter, you will learn your lesson as I take your precious Charlotte. Oh and she will love every. Single. Moment. Won't you?" Charlotte gasped. Akira attempted with all his might to get up.
Move.... damn it move! And suddenly he was 12 once more. He was bond by his hands and feet, willing his small body to break the bonds. . . and just like then. . . he failed.
Her mind was unhinged; it was different from before. No longer was she controlled by an outside force... but this time influenced. Her thoughts were all her own, her voice intact, and she was fully aware of her actions. No! rang her true voice, but it was heard by deaf ears.
ReplyDeleteAhvid smiled wickedly and Lottie in turn grinned in anticipation.
No, no!!!
He grasped her lips in his and she welcomed his advances.
Stop, please!! Oh God, don't!!
He stroked her body and Lottie moaned in pleasure.
AKIRA!!!
Akira watched in utter horror as Lottie welcomed every advance his father produced. He cringed at ever moan she made, at every cry she made. He winced as his own pain paralyzed him. It rocked threw his body and he cried out as it shook him.
ReplyDelete"Look how willing she is Akira. Mmmm, can you not smell her lust?" Akira winced as he realized his father was right. Lottie smelled of pure lust as his father plunged into her body.
Akira merely watched as they climaxed together. Every time it happened it left Akira hollow inside. I knew it. . . Akira. . you were foolish to think another would love you. Tears streamed down his face as he watched his life and hope being taken from him.
The small, true voice of Charlotte Akuma fought harder and harder as her body continuously was invaded by the cruel creature. She hoped to make enough noise, to drown his influence out as she had done before. Every time her gaze passed Akira, her heart wrenched horribly. He shouldn't have to witness her weakness, how her mind was easy prey for those who wished to destroy her and her beloved. The true voice of Lottie screamed in unison with her audible voice, the former in frustration.
ReplyDeleteThen something cracked. And suddenly Lottie's mind was overrun by the voices of madness once more. It grew stronger with every passing moment, realizing almost immediately a foreign power controlling her. It was then that the two forces clashed for dominance, with the small voice of Lottie stuck in the middle.
She consciously squinted her eyes closed as the pressure within her head increased tenfold, the only clear thought running across her mind was:
"Oh, shit."
Akira watched as something in Charlotte seemed to spur her to action. His father's expression turned into one of pure concentration. Akira merely watched helplessly as some inner battle seemed to take place. It grew increasingly silent until a blast of power exploded form Charlotte, throwing his father back against the wall. Akira winced as the shock wave hit him as well, sending him flying, slamming him against the babes crib. They cried, startled by the sudden movement.
ReplyDelete"Charlotte. . .' it was all he could say before the pain took him once more. . .damn it. . . i shouldn't have used it. It was all he could think as he saw a haunting expression passed over Lottie.
She smiled wickedly as she turned her attention to Ahvid. "Lets see how easily you break."
The startled Ahvid stumbled to his feet, only to be knocked down by another wave of power emitted from Lottie. She laughed, exalted at his fear. Her joy turned sour as she saw him head for the door. Suddenly, he felt himself flying across the room at the force of Lottie's kick.
ReplyDelete"You dare pawn with my body as you will?!" the madness accused. Ahvid whirled and aimed to strike at her throat. She dodged with his and grabbed his own throat, her knew strength lifting him off the ground. She hissed delightfully as Ahvid would groan the harder she grasped his wind pipes. "I don't like being played at my own game. Charlotte is mine to control." He choked until his voice left him altogether, his body wriggling madly in her hold. "Got that?"
Akira stared in true horror as the foreign power dropped Ahvid. His father turned a burning gaze to Akira before disappearing completely. For the longest moment there was silence... then Charlotte turned her gaze to his. Fear struck through Akira as he backed away, wincing as the pain intensified with his movements. She moved towards him and he felt like a child once more. Memories of his mothers abuse rushed within his mind and he hissed at her approach.
ReplyDeleteHe would not strike her. . . he couldn't. . . so he just let her kneel in front of him, her nail passing lightly over his cheek. He closed his eyes, waiting for her to strike him.
"You dare try to restrain my power with your blood again," the bitter madness warned, slightly amused at his reactions. "And I'll make sure your precious Charlotte never sees the light of day." And as the madness receded, Lottie slowly began to scream as she had done moments before to regain control. She realized quite suddenly, joyously, that the scream was vocalized. She panted, feeling as though her body was run over by a freight train.
ReplyDeleteThen she was condemned. She cursed every weakness, and every aspect of herself connected to weakness. And when she noticed how close she was to Akira, against all her instincts to reach out and tend to his wounds, shied away from him. She was trash, dirt; it would be something she would never make up to him. She wished she was stronger. She wished she hadn't cause him such misery.
But more than anything else of all, she wished to die a slow and painful death.
He stumbled to his feet, blood trickled down the side of his mouth. He clutched his abdomen, a certain light headedness over took him. Charlotte stared at him. The look in her eyes slightly frightened him; she looked absolutely defeated.
ReplyDelete"Its. . . not your fault." He whispered softly as he knelt beside her and placed a careful kiss on her forehead. She didn't say anything as he took in a ragged of breath he stood once more walking over to her open window. But just as he was about to leave Raige burst through the door. He surveyed the scene, seeing Lottie on the floor, blood everywhere, and Akira seeming to try to flee. With a growl Raige lunged at Akira. Akira hissed as they fell to the floor, pain radiated through him. Akira was tired, frustrated, he wanted to kill Raige, but he was weakened. . .and Raige was Lottie's father. . Raige pinned him on the floor by his throat. Akira's breaths were quiet as his vision became hazy.
His eyes flickered to Charlotte's, he had no idea why, but he wanted to let her know he loved her. He wanted her to know it wasn't her fault but he could not find his voice. Faintly, he heard her cry out in protest but he was already slipping into that familiar grip. One he felt safe in, the one that took him away everytime he wished death.
Her eyes flashed, a strong but small resolve turning the wheels in her mind. Her disgust with herself drove her into action. She rose to her feet, slowly approaching Akira and her father. Her intentions true and sure, she forced upon the voices of madness their reluctant obedience. She stopped, towering over the both of them. She gave no warning as she thrust a kick into Raige's stomach; he gasped in pain and shock and was thrown aside by the force of it. His bewildered gaze found Lottie's and stopped himself short seeing the change within her eyes.
ReplyDelete"Lottie-" he began after a few moments.
"I'm tired," she cut off monotonously, a burning fire fueled by the madness growing in the pit of her stomach. "I'm TIRED of you people intent on taking away the only thing that brings me joy. I'm SICK of being protected and left weakened as a result. And I absolutely HATE hurting others because of that weakness!!" Her voice had risen to shouting at this point, and the perplexed Raige just sat upon the floor staring at her at her words.
She turned away from him, her anger consuming her and the madness laughing in delight. She hissed menacingly at them and instantly they were silenced. No more... I won't be a weakling anymore. She knelt beside Akira, his consciousness slipping. She was sourly reminded of her duty as a Soulkeeper to guide lost souls... and how she seemed to fail to guide the only soul that truly mattered to her. Charlotte glided a hand over his wounds, hoping to call upon those powers to heal him. She adamantly avoided his gaze.
"I love you, Akira," announced the strong but shaky Lottie, watching as the wounds slowly stitched themselves together. She swallowed, pushing through though she had not the courage to say it. "... But if you decide to become a constant within my life... You have to accept one horrible truth and carry out my wish without reserve."
She could feel his confused and frightened gaze upon her, but she dared not betray herself and look back. The disgust was still present within and facing him was the most terrible thing she could think of doing. But is not what you're doing terrible anyway? asked her conscience. Are you not being cruel by asking him something he may not be able to offer? There was only one way to be sure.
"Akira... I'm going to become stronger... so that an incident like this can be prevented from ever happening again..." She paused. "... I am still unsure of the boundaries of my strength... I may lose control again... and I can only imagine that I won't be able to come back if that should happen." She heard Akira catch his breath sharply at her words. Perhaps, then, he can already assume what I'm going to say next.
She finally locked eyes with him and was nearly destroyed. So much pain, so much fear, she was almost discouraged from continuing. I have to let him know, she thought as she fought the urge to look away and run. She sighed, hoping to hide the inner struggle behind a veil of resolve.
"If that should happen... and you still want to be in my life... Promise me... that you will stop me... and put an end to my life." Her heart pounded in agony as Akira's eyes grew wide and his entire body froze. Perhaps she was asking too much, the complete opposite of saving him from pain. He promised he would never hate you if you changed, a small voice reminded her.
But I would hate myself. And I know I wouldn't be able to stop myself if my mind was attacked again. She knew it was a heavy burden... but if her life was to be taken, she wouldn't have wanted it to have been anyone else but him to do it.
"That is my price," she concluded.
"Fuck you." Lottie let out a shocked gasp as he pushed her away from him. He stumbled to his feet ignoring the suddenly unbearable pain. He needed air. He walked over to her window, not bothering with the lock, Akira punched it. The glass shattered, slowly falling to his feet. He ignored the stinging pain of his now bloodied hand.
ReplyDeleteHe turned an angered face to Charlotte who merely stared at him with shock.
"You amaze me Charlotte. You drag me out of the very pit of hell. You find some way to make me love... love Charlotte! And now you want me to promise to kill you?!" His voice shook with the rage he now felt.
"Fuck you. . . fuck you and your entire fucking family!" In a moment he was in front of her, with one hand he pulled her hair back causing her to expose her neck. The other hand ran lightly over her now fluttering heart beat.
"I could kill you now. . . You power calls to the darkest confinements of my very being." He leaned in, his breath hot against Lottie's skin as he placed a tender kiss on her throat. "But i don't. . . why?" He pulled away looking at her frightened gaze. His gaze never wavering, he spoke not to her, but to her inner power that threatened him earlier.
"I want you to try taking Charlotte away from me. I dare you. She's mine, and I will do with her what I wish, that does not include you." He released Charlotte, turning back to the window. "I never asked for you Charlotte. I never asked to fall in love, and in this sense my bastard father is right. . . . Love is a useless emotion that only causes weakness. It only brings pain and stupidity." He turned to look at her once more. "You think that in isolating yourself you will become stronger? You think that pushing aside those who love you will give you power?" He swept a hand to address her father. "He loves you, and you kick him aside. That Charlotte, is weakness. That," he pointed at the babes in the crib, "Is strength. Notice the difference? Born of love. . . born of hate.. . You ask me to end your life IF you break. I have seen that power Lottie. . . it will not be IF it will be WHEN. Don't you EVER ask me to end you. . ." A sudden wave of dizziness overtook him as the side effects of his power began over taking him again. He held his head in his hands now, the throbbing endless pain he knew all too well was beginning to become impossible to ignore.
"Akira!" He heard her scream as the world spun out of control. He fell hard onto the shattered glass. He winced, knowing all too well that the sweet bliss of unconsciousness would not take him. No. . . the side effects would not allow it. So he merely cried out as it was wave after wave of pain. Lottie attempted to help him but shied away from her touch.
I have done this alone before. . . I don't need you. . . He only wished it were true.
"You're cruel," she whispered, trying to comfort him as he continued to bat her away. "You talk of strength with love, but yet you condemn it as only pain and stupidity... You accuse me of finding strength in isolation and power in pushing aside the ones I love..." She leaned until her face was within inches of his, forcing him to gaze into her eyes. "Is that not what you are doing?"
ReplyDeleteHe said nothing in response but continued his cries of agony. She sat next to him, simply there as a comfort. She slowly shook her head as they grew quieter as he drew closer to unconsciousness.
"I'm sorry, Akira. I didn't mean to upset you... I just... didn't know what else to say." It was a bullshit excuse, she thought... She had shut down, she was scared; she had never felt her mind be so vulnerable before. And then she had to pour salt on an open wound... And you call Akira the cruel one, jeered her mind.
The excruciating pain consumed him, slowly eating him alive. He pushed himself farther from Charlotte, his instincts starting to kick in. He needed out, he needed to get away from the pain.
ReplyDeleteIf only I had been strong enough. . . yet i let my starvation for love to take me. . .you would be safe Charlotte. . i don't know how to make you safe. . . I don't know how to protect you. He didn't know he had been saying this out loud. The only indication was Charlotte gaze falling upon his as his vision blurred. He welcomed the relief, the familiar dark hold it always had. Closing his eyes, only vaguely did he realize he was leaving himself out in the open. It was only a vague uncomfortable moment but it was enough to leave him with a slight feeling of fear as he let unconsciousness take him into her welcoming arms.